Thursday, May 27, 2010

How to End a Short Term Relationship

  Have you just started a new relationship and you are already questioning it ?

Here are the few steps you need to follow if you already want to get out of this new relationship


1.Sometimes you start a relationship and you start wondering how you ever got here in the first place. Obvioiusly if you have started dating someone, there must have been reasons for you to get involved : a certain physical attraction, nice moments you spent with this person, and then a kiss, which defines the moment you started a relationship.

2.But here you are, a few days or even weeks into this new relationship and you don't feel comfortable in it. You've already reached the point where you're trying to figure out how to get out of it while not hurting your new partner too much.

3.First thing first : try to make sure you do not want to pursue the relationship. No point in telling your partner you don't feel like going on if you're going to come back begging a few days later. So give yourself a little bit of time to be sure of your feeling.

4.Have you had an argument and are you mad at him/her ? Sometimes people can surprise you and you discover things about them you wouldn't have imagined in the first place. Are those differences incompatible with the way you picture a happy relationship ? If they are, then yes,there is no reason in getting more involved. If these bad feelings have a specific reason, maybe it would be good to talk about it to your partner.

5.But more importantly just trust your feeling because this is the easiest clue to your new relationship's future.If you haven't been together long and you're already bored, less attracted, even annoyed, or if you've realized this is more about friendship than possible love, don't lure yourself into thinking "you can make it work". You won't overcome your first feelings. Trust yourself.

6.How to end a short-term relationship ? Well the same way you would end any relationship.Be honest and straigt-forward. Don't give false excuses but just tell the truth. Il may not be easy because you may fear that your partner won't understant your reasons (after all you don't know him that well) ; but all this is not about rational reasons. It is only about the way you feel. And if you feel there is no chance in this relationship don't apologize for it. You can't make your feelings go away just by listening to apparently sound reasons. Wa have all at some point, left someone who tried to talk us out of it by pointing out the efforts he/she was going to make to adapt to what we wanted. But if someone has to change in the first place so that a relationship could work out, it is definitely a huge sign that you are not meant for each-other. So stand your ground. It's the best you can do for this person, even if he/she can't see it right now. And it's certainly the best you can do for yourself.

7.The last step : and of course as with any relationship, even if you haven't been together a long time, don't think you can go back to a normal friendship straight away. It IS probably the biggest lie we like to tell ourselves to apease the pain that breaking up implies. But give yourselves some time apart to learn how to be together again in a non-sentimental way. If the relationship was short it won't take as long as it might have with a longer one.

Tips
One thing ending a short-term relationship can bring you is to analyze the reasons why you chose to start a relationship with this particular person in the first place. Analyse the circumstances and why you obviously made a mistake because this will give you some indications about what not to do in the future.

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